Alice on Todd: Australia's Most Luxurious Apartments? (You Won't Believe This!)
Alice on Todd: Australia's Most Luxurious Apartments? (You Won't Believe This!) - A Review That's Actually Real
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea (or, ya know, the free, unlimited coffee they probably have) on Alice on Todd. Australia's Most Luxurious Apartments? (You Won't Believe This!) the name alone is a TRIP. It's like, "Come on in, peasants! But, like, you're gonna REALLY be impressed." I went in with serious skepticism. Luxe and Alice Springs? Sounds like a recipe for disappointment, right? WRONG. Mostly…
Let's start with the basics. The things everyone cares about. Because, let's be honest, after a long haul flight and the mental gymnastics of planning your adventure, all you want is a comfy bed and a hot shower.
Accessibility: Okay, this is HUGE for me. I have a slightly wonky hip, and believe me, stairs are the enemy. So, the elevator? A godsend. Elevator is a big, fat YES. The Facilities for disabled guests are a plus, though I didn’t test them fully (more on that later). The Exterior corridor gave off a bit of a motel vibe at first, but hey, at least it's easy to find your room after you've had a few too many cocktails at the… well, let's get to that.
Cleanliness and Safety: (aka. Are We Gonna Catch the 'Rona?)
Listen, the world feels a little germy these days. So, Alice on Todd absolutely kills it here. They’ve got the Anti-viral cleaning products, the Daily disinfection in common areas, the Hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE. I'm talking, like, practically swimming in it. The Staff trained in safety protocol were super on-point, which, let's face it, is a comfort in itself. They have the whole shebang: Rooms sanitized between stays, the Room sanitization opt-out available, Safe dining setup, Individually-wrapped food options. They even have Doctor/nurse on call and First aid kit. Basically, if the apocalypse hits, I’m heading here.
The Rooms: Where the Magic (and the Price Tag) Happens.
Right, so, the apartments. Are they luxurious? Well, yes. Yes, they ARE.
- Air conditioning: Thank GOD. Because Alice Springs gets HOT.
- Alarm clock: Ugh. But necessary evil.
- Bathrobes: YES! Plushy, fluffy bathrobes are my weakness.
- Bathroom phone: (What year is it again?) I guess it's for… emergencies? (I'm not gonna lie, I didn't test this one.)
- Bathtub: Oh, YES. A proper soaking tub. Heaven.
- Blackout curtains: Crucial for sleeping off jet lag.
- Coffee/tea maker: Because I CANNOT function without caffeine.
- Complimentary tea: (See above.)
- Desk, Laptop workspace: For pretending to be productive.
- Extra long bed: I'm tall. This was appreciated.
- Free bottled water: Score! Hydration is key.
- Hair dryer: Saved my life (and my hair).
- In-room safe box: For your important stuff. Like, the expensive jewelry you totally bring on holiday. (I didn't, but I appreciate the option.)
- Internet access – wireless: Yep, it works.
- Ironing facilities: Hey, gotta look presentable at the pool bar, right?
- Linens: Crisp and clean.
- Mini bar: Tempting, but I’m on a budget, people!
- Non-smoking: Good.
- On-demand movies: Finally saw that film everyone was raving about.
- Refrigerator: For essential snacks (and keeping the mini-bar purchases cold).
- Slippers: Nice touch!
- Soundproofing: Necessary. Especially when you're trying to nap after a day of hiking.
- Telephone: (Again, what year is it?)
- Toiletries: Decent quality.
- Wake-up service: Never used it. I'm a natural riser, especially after a long night…
- Wi-Fi [free]: Always a bonus.
The rooms are spacious, well-appointed, and genuinely comfortable. I'm not gonna lie, I felt like a QUEEN. But… (there's always a but, isn't there?)… it's not perfect. There’s a slight lack of personality, you know? It’s a bit “hotel-y” in the sense that it doesn't feel like someone lives here. Just… stayed here. But hey, for luxury, it's on point.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Feed Me, Seymour!
This is where Alice on Todd really shines. They have the goods.
- Restaurants, Bars, and Coffee Shops: Multiple options. The Poolside bar is a MUST. Seriously.
- Breakfast [buffet]: And it's a damn good one. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast. The Coffee/tea in restaurant is actually good. And the Breakfast service is top-notch, with options for Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service.
- Desserts in restaurant: YES. Always. Particularly loved the… (okay, now I'm drooling)
- Room service [24-hour]: Because sometimes you just want a pizza in your robe at 2 AM.
- Snack bar: For when you're peckish between meals.
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: Variety is the spice of life!
- Alternative meal arrangement: They were super accommodating with my dietary restrictions.
- Bottle of water: Because hydration!
- Happy hour: Clink!
- International cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: Something for everyone. I tried the… well, I tried a lot.
- Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: For when you’re trying to be good.
Here's the juicy bit: I spent a whole afternoon camped out by the pool. The Pool with view is stunning. Like, Instagram-worthy. The cocktails? Delicious. The food from the poolside bar? Surprisingly good. The service? Relaxed, efficient, and friendly. This is where I felt properly relaxed. I took a deep breath in the smoking area since there's no chance for smoking in the rooms.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Pamper Me, Please!
Now, this is where Alice on Todd takes it up a notch. They understand the assignment.
- Fitness center: The gym is surprisingly well-equipped.
- Gym/fitness: I intended to go. I really did!
- Massage: Oh god, YES. I got the best massage of my LIFE. Like, floating-on-a-cloud good. (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating slightly, but it was amazing.)
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: Didn't use these, but the options are there!
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gorgeous, obviously. Lounging by the pool is my idea of paradise.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Because self-care is important!
The Flaws (Because Nothing's Perfect!)
Okay, let's get real: nothing is perfect.
- The Wi-Fi, whilst generally good, did drop out a couple of times, which was a bit frustrating. They do cover all areas: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!
- The price is… well, it’s not cheap. It's luxurious. Be prepared to open your wallet.
- There’s a slight lack of "local vibe" - it feels a bit… sanitized. They need a real, authentic Alice Springs experience somehow.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Alice on Todd has all the usual suspects, and a few surprises.
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential.
- Airport transfer: Convenient.
- Business facilities: They’ve got the works.
- Cash withdrawal: Helpful.
- Concierge, Doorman: Service is excellent.
- Contactless check-in/out: Always a bonus.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was sparkling clean.
- Elevator: (Again, a life saver!)
- Facilities for disabled guests: (Mentioned above, but important to note.)
- Food delivery: Useful if you're feeling lazy.
- Ironing service: For those important events.
- Laundry service: Very handy.
- Luggage storage: No problem!
- Safety deposit boxes: For peace of mind.
**For the Kids (and the Kid in
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups. You're about to embark on my totally legit, unedited itinerary for hitting up Alice on Todd Apartments. Prepare for a whirlwind of questionable choices, overflowing emotion, and the distinct possibility of me losing track of where I even am at some point.
Alice on Todd: A Journey Through Messy, Magnificent Chaos
Day 1: Arrival and the (Immediate) Regret
- 10:00 AM: Arrival at Alice Springs Airport - "Oh, God, What Have I Done?"
- Alright, first impressions: HOT. Like, "melting my soul" hot. I’m immediately regretting not packing more sunscreen and, let’s be honest, a winning lottery ticket. The airport itself feels like a relic from the 80s – charm, I guess?
- 11:00 AM: Shuttle to Alice on Todd Apartments – "That Shuttle Driver? Legend."
- Found the shuttle, which was surprisingly clean. The driver, a bloke named Kev, was a legend. Spilled all sorts of local gossip on the way. Apparently, the guy running the servo down the road is dating a lizard. Top-notch stuff.
- 12:00 PM: Check-in and Apartment Inspection – "My God, the Toilet Roll Situation is Dire."
- Okay, so the apartment. Not quite what the glossy travel brochures promised. But hey, the view is… well, there's a view. Of something. The pool looks inviting, though I can’t say the same for the state of the provided toilet roll. It’s a crisis!
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a Random Cafe – "Chicken Salad? Maybe."
- Needed sustenance, hit up a cafe. The chicken salad looked…questionable. Ate it anyway. Ate it fast. No regrets.
- 2:00 PM: Poolside contemplation…"Someone hand me a margarita (and possibly a therapist)"
- Finally! pool time. I'm laying there trying to make sense of it all. I see some sort of bird creature. I wonder if that's the lizard's girlfriend. This trip is something.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a Pub – "That Beer? Bliss."
- Pub grub. Beer. Bliss. That's all I needed.
- 8:00 PM: Stare at the Stars – "Seriously, Are Those Real?"
- The stars. Oh, the stars. They were real. Absolutely breathtaking. Felt a profound sense of smallness and awe. Maybe this trip wasn’t a complete disaster, after all.
Day 2: Desert Dreams…and Possibly Heatstroke
- 7:00 AM: Wake Up With a Start – "The Sun Is Already Aggressive!"
- Seriously, the sun. It's an aggressor. Woke up sweating and regretting all the life choices that led me to this moment.
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast (or what I could scavenge) – “Where's the Coffee? GIVE ME COFFEE!”
- Coffee. Required. Found a packet of instant in the cupboard. The taste? Questionable. But caffeine, so…success!
- 9:00 AM: Exploring the Town – "So… Hot."
- Attempted a walk. Immediately turned back. Too hot. Saw a sign for a crocodile farm. Seriously considering it.
- 11:00 AM: Alice Desert Park – "Wombats. OMG, Wombats!"
- Okay, this was AMAZING. The wildlife! The birds! The wombat! I could have stayed there all day. I actually did spend most of the day at the park.
- 3:00 PM: Poolside Again…"This is beginning to feel familiar (and awesome)"
- Back to the pool. Feeling refreshed and ready to embrace the heat.
- 6:00 PM: Stargazing Prep - "The Telescope of Tears and Laughter"
- Found a telescope. Took hours to set it up. The stars were worth it.
- 8:00 PM: Stargazing Again - "This is why I came…"
- Saw the stars, lost in thought, and it was beautiful.
Day 3: Adventure (and a Near-Disaster)
- 7:00 AM: Uluru sunrise tour, "The bus? A bit smelly"
- Packed my bags for the day, heading to Uluru. I did my best to wake up. Made it to the bus.
- 9:00 AM: Uluru, "It's orange. It's big"
- Uluru! Its orange. The size is mind-blowing. The flies are relentless!
- 1:00 PM: Uluru, "Lunch Time"
- The lunch was good. ate fast.
- 3:00 PM: Uluru "Did I just fall?"
- I tripped! I fell; I was fine, but it was a scare.
- 6:00 PM: Alice Springs, "The end is in sight"
- That's all for the day and the trip. Back to the apartments.
Day 4: Farewell (Thank GOODNESS)
- 7:00 AM: Pack and Reflect on My Life Choices – "Did I Leave Anything Behind?"
- Packing. Always a drama. Did I leave anything behind? Probably. Mostly my dignity.
- 9:00 AM: Final swim – "One last dip!"
- One last swim in the pool. This place.
- 10:00 AM: Check Out – "Goodbye, You Glorious (and Slightly Odd) Apartment"
- Checking out. A bittersweet moment. I love this place.
- 11:00 AM: Shuttle to the Airport – "Kev, My Man!"
- Found Kev! Again!
- 12:00 PM: Flight Home – "Until Next Time, Australia (Maybe)."
- Flight home. Tired. Sunburnt. Changed.
Postscript:
So, that's my Alice on Todd experience. A mess? Absolutely. Magical? Surprisingly so. Would I go back? Probably. Just need to invest in more sunscreen. And maybe a better toilet roll connection. And definitely a winning lottery ticket.
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Alice on Todd: Australia's Most Luxurious Apartments? (You Won't Believe This!) - FAQ
Okay, so... "Luxurious"? Really? What's *actually* going on with the "Alice on Todd" hype?
Right. Luxurious. Let's unpack that. So, I went to see Alice on Todd because... well, curiosity killed the cat, didn't it? Plus, my cousin, Brenda, swore blind they were "heaven on earth." Brenda, bless her heart, thinks a microwave timer is cutting-edge technology, so I went with a *healthy* dose of skepticism.
Look, the lobby *was* impressive. Gigantic chandeliers, enough marble to make a Roman god weep, and a concierge who looked like he'd been genetically engineered to exude calm. But then... you get to the apartments themselves.
The view? Stunning. Seriously, the view of the Todd River was incredible. But... and this is a big but... the *kitchen*. I swear, it looked like the designer had a vendetta against anyone who enjoyed cooking. Tiny, sterile, and the "state-of-the-art" appliances? Half of them were on backorder, apparently. Brenda (again!) was mortified. Said it wasn't big enough to hold her prized "giant Tupperware collection."
So, "luxurious"? Depends on what you prioritize. Beautiful views? Check. Space to swing a cat (though, don't... please)? Check. A kitchen that might cramp your style? Double check.
What were the 'unbelievable' things about the place? You mentioned the title... spill the tea!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup. The "unbelievable" part? That's a mixed bag. First, the "smart home" features. The whole place is supposed to be controlled by an app. Sounded great! Until, during my viewing, the air conditioning decided to declare war on the temperature of the Sahara Desert. I was *sweating*! The concierge, with that unnerving calm, just said, "It's a *feature*, ma'am. A very... independent feature."
Then there was the... the *art*. Let's just say it was modern. *Very* modern. Like, I'm pretty sure a toddler could have created some of it. And the centerpiece was... a giant metal sculpture of, and I kid you not, a slightly melted spoon. Brenda declared it "modern genius," which I think meant she was too polite to say it looked like a discarded kitchen utensil. I'm not an art snob, but I'm pretty sure my cat could do better. It was that bad.
And the price... dear GOD, the price! They're banking on some serious disposable income. Makes my credit card shudder just thinking about it.
What about the amenities? Did they have a pool? A gym? Did they have the REALLY important stuff?
Oh, they had the WORKS. And by "the works," I mean the things that *sound* good on a brochure. A pool? Magnificent, infinity-edge, overlooking the river. The gym? Gleaming, with more machines than I knew existed. Brenda’s eyes lit up, she’s a gym rat. But, here's the catch...
The pool was closed "for cleaning" the day I was there. *Of course* it was.
And the gym? You had to book a slot two weeks in advance if you wanted to go. Two weeks! Like it was Wimbledon or something. Brenda grumbled about the booking system being "utterly ridiculous."
The "really important stuff"? Well, the coffee machine in the lobby served lukewarm, watery coffee. And the closest decent cafe was a ten-minute drive. Priorities people! Priorities!
Okay, the big question: Would *you* live there? Be honest!
Honestly? No. Absolutely not. Unless I won the lottery, tripled my income, and suddenly developed a deep, abiding love for overpriced melted spoons.
Look, it's beautiful, sure. But it's also... sterile. Soulless. It feels like a place people visit; not a place they actually *live*. I need a bit of chaos, a touch of imperfection, a place where I can accidentally spill coffee on the carpet and not have a team of white-gloved butlers descend on me.
Brenda, bless her, is still trying to convince me. She keeps sending me pictures of the pool (when it’s actually open, apparently). But I'm sticking with my cozy, slightly-worn apartment. It's got character, dammit! And my kitchen is big enough to host a Tupperware convention (Brenda-approved). So, thanks, Alice on Todd, but I’m good. I'm VERY good. And frankly, I'd rather spend my money on a really amazing coffee machine.
What about the people? Did the potential residents seem like… well, normal human beings?
(Sighs dramatically) This is where things got… interesting. I saw a few potential residents during my tour. And I'm using "interesting" in the sense that I felt like I'd wandered onto the set of a reality TV show about excessively wealthy people.
There was a woman, probably dripping in diamonds, who loudly complained that the "yoga studio" was "too small" and "lacked adequate natural light." Like, darling, you're practically swimming in money! Get a private yoga instructor and practice in *your* apartment!
Then there was a very tanned gentleman, loudly discussing the merits of various yacht models on his phone. I overheard him say, and I quote, "But does it have a wet bar *and* a helicopter pad?" I swear, I almost choked on my (lukewarm, watery) coffee.
They all seemed… detached. Like they were living in a bubble of privilege, where inconvenience simply didn't exist. Maybe they ARE happy. But if that's happiness, I'll take my slightly-worn apartment, thank you very much.
Speaking of the staff, what were *they* like? Were they robotic, sycophantic, or... human?
Ah, the staff. Well, the aforementioned concierge was definitely robotic. In a good way, I think. Very professional, very… unnervingly calm. He probably doesn’t sleep. Or blink. Or feel.
The tour guide was actually quite nice. She seemed genuinely enthusiastic about the apartments, which I found... well, curious. I’m guessing that job pays well though and the rent is free. She might be as happy, as she can be.
But honestly, the rest were… mostly invisible. Which, let’s be honest, is probably what they’re going for. They were efficient, discreet, and probably trained in the art of making eye contact only when absolutely necessary. Which, again, is probably a perk if you are a resident of Alice on Todd.
I’d give them a solid B+. They were, for the most part, non-offensive, which, in this day and age, is practically a superpower.
